Trapped
by Logo
Summary: reupload of a oneshot. Contains BakuraRyou yaoi. Ryou gets Bakura angry and ends up locked in the office. Unfortunately, Bakura loses the key...


NOTES FROM KIWI: ... this is getting fucking annoying. Now, L-chan has NO fics whatsoever that haven't been deleted. She must have lost 200+ reviews because of some idiot reporting her fics for things they haven't done. And ff.net deleting without checking.  
  
I don't have the author notes for this, I only copied the main text, and I don't know where I can find a place that still has it.  
  
YGO is © Kazuki Takahashi. Meep and Merf are Malik's gerbils that Ryou looked after at some point and they escaped. The story contains references to a fic L-chan hasn't even WRITTEN yet.  
  
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TRAPPED  
  
By Logo  
  
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ENTRY 1. DATE UNKNOWN DUE TO COMPUTER INTERNAL CLOCK BEING PRACTICALLY DEAD.  
  
I simply do not believe this. Bakura may act like a badass, but he's very talented at losing things. For example, keys.  
  
Basically, what happened was... well, when I woke up this morning, I really needed a drink. Me and Bakura share a bed, because that's what we do, and Bakura just so happened to be obstructing my way to the stairs. I had to climb over him. And I accidentally crushed his... well, his "delicate area", for desperate want of a better phrase without being unnecessarily vulgar.  
  
So he got kind of pissed and locked me in the office.  
  
He came back to let me out, about an hour later. However, he seems to have lost the key. So yeah, I'm pretty much screwed. In the sense I do not approve of.  
  
I'm just going to sit here and keep typing until he finds the bloody thing.  
  
The office has various things in, and just so happens to be where I keep my laptop. Said device is ancient, and is struggling to keep up with my typing here. And I have to type in Notepad because Word is a fugitive, which is annoying because I really don't like Notepad.  
  
One thing the office does not have is a chair. Which means I have to sit on the floor. This is quite uncomfortable, due to actions from last night. As if I wasn't sore enough already.  
  
Bakura's finding the whole thing hilarious. I really have no idea why. It's his fault.   
  
Well, at least he's making some effort to get me out. I really have to 'punish' him for this later. Don't know yet whether I'm going to force him into submission or just sleep in my own bed. Won't rush the decision. Although the first one sounds fun, the second option means I will finally get a night without physical exertion. Haven't had a night like that for at least two weeks.  
  
Screen causing head to hurt. So now I must go play solitaire or something.  
  
~~~~~  
  
ENTRY 2. SAME DATE AS TEN MINUTES AGO, WHATEVER THE HELL IT MIGHT BE.  
  
Heard Bakura shouting about a rodent scrambling up his jeans. Sounds like Meep and Merf are still around. Malik's gerbils are suicidal, I'm sure. Bakura hates them, and I'm pretty sure that, somehow, they realise that.  
  
Living with Yarik, I'm surprised Malik isn't suicidal as well. Actually, considering the way he steers his motorcycle, he just might be... Yarik'll drive anyone to insanity sooner or later.  
  
As you can probably tell, I fully blame Yarik for the suicidal tendencies of Malik's already psychotic gerbils. I know they were psychotic. I was the one who gave them to him in the first place. Getting my finger scarred in the process. Look, see? Right there, near the base of the nail!  
  
Of course, everyone seems to blame Yarik for everything. They just don't do it to his face. Because if they did, they would get very, very hurt.  
  
I shouted back to him saying that rodents had nothing to do with missing keys. I got a "Shut the fuck up, I'm looking for it, damn it!" which is less than reassuring. It means he hasn't found it yet.   
  
~~~~~  
  
ENTRY 3. SAME DATE AS BEFORE. BUT MORE THAN AN HOUR LATER, IF YOU REALLY MUST KNOW.  
  
Discovered a crappy little pinball game on the laptop. I am now addicted to it.   
  
I am in desperate need of water. And paracetemol, since my head is now throbbing. I really shouldn't be on the computer. But I shall stay on it, because otherwise my attention will be more attracted to the fact I am locked in a particularly hot office with no windows, which used to be an airing cupboard.  
  
~~~~~  
  
ENTRY 4. BRAIN TOO DEAD FROM BOREDOM TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING OTHER THAN "SAME GOD DAMNED DATE AS BEFORE."  
  
Currently feeling rather amused. Malik and Yarik have arrived, and are bickering. Their bickering is always fun to listen to.  
  
Shifted to the other end of the room because Yarik is attacking the door with the Millennium Rod's dagger. From his brute strength, he was able to make it go right through. Unfortunately, it appears he can't cut. He needs the force from the stabbing motion to do any real damage.  
  
"I can't pull it out!"  
  
"Don't put so much force into it then, just try to EASE it out."  
  
I'm not even going to comment. The innuendo is too obvious. But the easing works and he manages to pull the dagger out. This is a good thing. After what Bakura has done to me, I'm starting to develop a slight phobia of anything sharp and pointy.  
  
Silence for a few moments. Thinking, I assume.  
  
"Is your stomach eating itself yet?" Yarik asks me, since he always has to be the one to break awkward silences. I am confused. Where the question came from, I have no clue.  
  
"Uh..." is how I respond. Confusion tends to prevent me from speaking properly. It happens. Usually I just say nothing at all. Saying nothing has gotten me far.  
  
"What the fuck do you mean by that?" Malik wants to know.  
  
"Well, if you don't eat, then your stomach will digest itself."  
  
"He's only been in there for three hours, dumbass!" Bakura yells.  
  
"So?"  
  
Yarik. So full of useless facts and information. If only he could use them in a more productive, less insane manner.  
  
He really should go on a game show or something. He could win a lot of money.   
  
"Hey, Bakura, you found my gerbils yet?"  
  
"WHO GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOUR GERBILS?!" I yell. "GET ME OUT OF THIS FUCKING CUPBOARD!"  
  
Silence. I don't blame them. That's quite colourful language for me.  
  
Then...  
  
"I thought it was an office?" Yarik says.  
  
Rolling your eyes is an instinctive motion. It's extremely difficult to resist. Mostly because most of the time you won't even realise you're doing it.  
  
"Yarik, just shut up and look for the key," I suggest.   
  
"Fine," Yarik responds, sounding... actually, he sounds impatient. Whatever the hell he has to be impatient about is a mystery I will most likely never solve.  
  
Screw this, I'm going back to my pinball.   
  
~~~~~  
  
ENTRY 5. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, IT IS STILL THE SAME DATE. AND YES, I'M STILL IN THE CUPBOARD-TURNED-OFFICE. I AM NOW GETTING EXCEPTIONALLY ANNOYED.  
  
I hate this office.  
  
I really should clean the place out. I had no idea how many of our cups and glasses migrated here. One's half full of stale milk. I THOUGHT the room smelled funny.  
  
Malik is sat outside the door and we are conversing. Or at least we were. We don't have a huge amount of shared interests, so we're currently in an 'awkward silence' phase. Again.   
  
I love being able to touch-type, it's so useful. Although it does have a tendency to amaze other people. I remember Yugi staring at me in shock, demanding to know how I could type so fast, without typos, without looking at the keyboard.  
  
Speaking of touch-typing, I made Bakura take lessons. It's really just a sort of game that beeps at him if he gets it wrong. He is not particularly happy about this, but has decided to go with it, so he can type stories that are actually readable.  
  
It should be a known fact that the most twisted, psychotic individuals can also be the most creative. You can not deny this. Unless I am very much mistaken, Jack the Ripper is believed to have been an artist. Bakura is quite a talented writer, if you don't mind a lot of gore, death and angst combined with, of all things, his twisted and sadistic sense of humour.   
  
Well, he has to do SOMETHING when he's bored and unable to kill anything.   
  
I trap a large spider that's crawling around underneath a glass. Bakura is terrified of them. I'll just present it to him when I finally get out. I have to have some kind of revenge, don't I?  
  
"Hey, Ryou," I hear from Bakura. "Gonna make something to eat, because otherwise I'll starve."  
  
"Can't you find the key first?" I ask.  
  
"Nope, hunger calls."  
  
"You're dead! You don't NEED to eat!"  
  
"I don't care, I'm still hungry."  
  
~~~~~  
  
ENTRY 6. SAME DAY. LUNCHTIME. AM NOW PISSED DUE TO LACK OF FOOD, OTHER THAN THIS HALF EMPTY DORITOS PACKET THAT'S BEEN HERE FOR GOD KNOWS HOW LONG.  
  
Bakura is taunting me with the instant noodles. Curry ones. My favourite flavour, dammit!  
  
He's threatening to put ketchup on them. He can't do that, it's SACRILEGE! How dare he defile the almighty noodles?!  
  
I was going to yell that out, but Bakura's really only teasing me. Because I happen to know for a fact that he hates ketchup.  
  
I must now play pinball again before I take after my yami and destroy something.  
  
~~~~~  
  
ENTRY 7. SAME DAY. REALLY MUST BE MORE CREATIVE WITH MY HEADINGS.  
  
The lightbulb just died. Only source of light is now the laptop screen. I am not happy.   
  
Everything's gone silent. They've disappeared. They'd better not have abandoned me.  
  
I glance at the spider.  
  
It's one of the biggest house spiders I've seen. Bakura's reaction when I give it to him should prove quite entertaining.  
  
~~~~~  
  
ENTRY 8. HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE WHAT THE TIME IS. OR THE DATE, BUT YOU ALREADY KNEW THAT. THAT IS, IF ANYBODY READS THIS. SOMEHOW, I DOUBT IT.  
  
Am currently suffering from a horrendous overdose of a combination of solitaire and pinball. My brain is dead.  
  
Bakura came back a little while ago. Complaining about Yami Yugi. Apparently, Yami and Yugi weren't around when he went to get them to help. Bastard won't admit it, but he's starting to get a little anxious. Hah. He shouldn't have locked me in here in the first place, it was an accident, dammit! Accident to apology to forgiven, yes?  
  
It was rather disturbing though, when Yarik decided to sing to make me feel better, and sings the theme from Evangelion so off-key it had to be deliberate. I swear that he behaves the way he does simply for the sake of annoying. Well, at least he's not trying to kill anything.  
  
"DON'T STAB THEM! LEAVE THE GERBILS BE, YARIK!!" Malik's voice came as a bit of a surprise to me, since they were all being pretty quiet before.  
  
"Why should I? They're rivals!"  
  
"Rivals?" Bakura asks. I can just picture that sexy confused expression of his. All scowly and stuff. How dare he be sexy when I can't see him? "What the fuck do you mean by 'rivals'?"  
  
"They're trying to take over the world! I have to get there first!"  
  
"Um, Yarik..." Malik responds, in that patronising tone he seems to reserve JUST for Yarik. "How can you tell? They don't talk or anything."  
  
"EXACTLY! If they can't talk, how do you know they're NOT planning to take over the world?"  
  
This is one of Yarik's LESSER triumphs in terms of excuses. He's normally fantastic at coming up with them. He can do all kinds of excuses. Normally he settles for the slightly insane excuse that can't be argued against, but he can pull off convincing excuses too.  
  
Malik just sighs.  
  
I'm bored. Again. When am I going to get out of here?  
  
"What are you doing?" I ask. "Look for the key!"  
  
"The gerbils stole it!" Yarik responds. "I'll get them!"  
  
"YARIK! For the LAST time, leave the gerbils alone!"  
  
~~~~~  
  
ENTRY 9. ...YOU REALLY NEED A HEADING?  
  
Malik FINALLY convinced Yarik to not go homicidal on Meep and Merf. This is a relief, because Yarik would damage the rest of the house too, and I would naturally be the one to have to tidy up.  
  
Question: is homicide still homicide if it's against another species? Because it's not homo if it's not the same species. It's... I don't know. Somethingicide.  
  
Yarik's now suggesting the use of powertools. I do not trust him with them. Good thing we have none. My father and I have no use for them.  
  
I think Bakura's panicking. He seems to be all over the place.  
  
He won't stay around long enough to talk. Damn, the least he could do is TALK to me. It's lonely when I'm alone.  
  
Makes sense, doesn't it?  
  
Something I'd like to share... I don't like the dark. It's fine when I'm supposed to be going to sleep, as long as I can make things out, or I have a Bakura holding on to me. He's nice, warm and snuggly... like my duvet, only moving. With arms. And legs. And... I won't go there... well actually, I will, but unless you want to face a VERY angry Bakura, you won't.  
  
But...  
  
This darkness... since the only light is from my computer, my eyes are starting to go funny and my head is SERIOUSLY killing me. But I can't just switch off. I'm not sleepy enough to go to sleep, meaning I'll be left sitting here... in the dark... with my new pet spider... unable to SEE anything! I HATE not being able to see.  
  
Dammit, I am so BORED!  
  
~~~~~  
  
ENTRY 10. I'M IN DOUBLE DIGITS NOW. GO ME.  
  
You know what? I think Yarik was right.  
  
About the stomach digesting itself, I mean.  
  
It's a horrible feeling. I missed breakfast AND lunch and now I am starving. Not only is my stomach trying to eat the rest of my body, it's leaving me with a sense of nausea, which can't be good.  
  
"Ryou? You okay?" Malik asks me.  
  
"Well, I'm bored half to death, my head is killing me, I am desperate for the toilet, and my stomach is eating itself. So, no, I'm NOT okay!"  
  
"Right..."  
  
~~~~~  
  
ENTRY 11. I'D REFRAIN FROM ENTERING A HEADING, BUT I'VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT EVERY ENTRY HAS A HEADING, AND NOT USING A HEADING WOULD COMPLETELY DISRUPT THE PATTERN, OR WHATEVER THE HELL YOU CALL IT.  
  
I am dying from lack of food! Feed me! FEED ME!  
  
Yarik is currently very happy. My cat, Lucky, managed to kill a rabbit. He dumped it on the back doorstep. Admittedly, Malik was not impressed, because for some reason he likes rabbits, but rabbits are the spawn of Satan, so I do not care what my cat does to them.  
  
Don't believe me when I say rabbits are evil? Take a look at my leg. It got mauled by one. Malik tried to throw off this arguement by saying that my Lucky has done worse, but Lucky's practically my baby, so now all the blame goes on to Flopsy the bunny.  
  
Yes, my sister named the bunny. What sister, you ask? The same sister who died about four years ago, in a car accident. Amane.  
  
I won't talk about her any more. I'll make myself depressed and angsty. I might end up cutting again. My father was very angry the last time I cut something. I wrecked the last of his printer paper cutting it up and scattering it everywhere.  
  
You thought I meant cutting myself? No, self-mutilation is more Bakura's line of expertise. Cutting paper is much more fun, and is much like popping bubblewrap when it comes to stress relief.   
  
I'm getting seriously off topic.  
  
Wait, I had a topic? Oh yeah.  
  
So Yarik is hyper with glee. Sadistic bastard. Because of Yarik's liking of bloody detail, I have been treated to a pleasant description. It was an escaped domesticated rabbit. White with ginger spots. And red, because of blood. Its neck got ripped open and its guts are hanging out, and there's an ear completely detatched from the rest of it and lying on the ground.  
  
That is just plain sick.  
  
My nausea is now worse, dammit.  
  
And I expect he's going to want to show me later. If I ever get out of this fucking office.  
  
~~~~~  
  
ENTRY XII. DECIDED TO USE ROMAN NUMERALS, BECAUSE I RANDOMLY FELT LIKE IT.  
  
My entire body's cramped up from staying in one position for so long. And I'm too comfortable to move. Yes, I know being comfortable and uncomfortable are complete opposites and I shouldn't really be able to be both at once, but I am.  
  
It's like me starving, and not wanting to eat.  
  
Well, admittedly, there's no food in here TO eat, except for random bits that have fallen on the floor and that half empty Doritos packet I mentioned before. So maybe the fact that there's no food is reducing my longing FOR food?   
  
Dammit, I want a prawn sandwich.  
  
There's a thump on the door, and a noise as if something slid down it. Then this something is revealed to be a Bakura.  
  
"Ryou, I can't find it! I've been looking for seven hours, and I still can't find it."  
  
I don't even respond. I'm too pissed at him to come up with a rational reply, and yet I feel sorry for him. He's been trying so hard to find the key, after all... but dammit, he shouldn't have locked me in here to begin with!  
  
The next thing I hear is someone running up the stairs. "Bakura, out of the way," Malik orders. I hear Bakura moving away from the door.  
  
"Hey, that's... WHERE THE FUCK WAS IT?!"  
  
"It was next to the kettle."  
  
~~~~~  
  
ENTRY XIII. UNLUCKY FOR SOME?  
  
Decided to keep up with this thing. Typing this stuff is actually quite fun. Bakura nearly fell down the stairs when I presented him with the spider, only saved by a chance collision with Yarik.  
  
Yarik has given the spider a name now. He called it "Miss" after noticing it's missing a leg. Then he went on a rant about how female spiders eat their partners after mating (this made Malik twitch a little), which led to tadpoles, which are also cannibals (Malik just rolled his eyes at this one), which led to frogs (Malik says tree frogs are cute, Bakura twitched at the memory of Molly and her froggies), which led to France, which led to him being hit over the head by Malik and Bakura simultaneously.   
  
Yarik's reaction... well...  
  
Bakura was left in quite a bit of pain as a result. I think Yarik must have cracked a couple of his ribs or something. The Ring fixed it after about half an hour though, and by then, Yarik was more interested in food.  
  
MY food, that is.  
  
I have been known to mesmerise people with my ability to eat a ton, and look like I have an eating disorder or something. I had noodles, a prawn mayo sandwich (they're my addiction), two bars of chocolate, cake, and a bowl of sherbet. I had to get a seperate bowl and give Yarik half my noodles to make him stop threatening to kill me.  
  
Oh yeah, I then decided to drag them all to a Chinese restaurant (I hadn't eaten all day, alright? I was STARVING!). Where I discovered the wonders of prawn toast (I like prawns). And Malik was complaining heavily about the lack of vegetarian food on the menu.  
  
After that, we all just went home. We stopped at Malik's apartment long enough to listen to his sister rant and complain at him for being "irresponsible" for one reason or another. Isis is scary.  
  
Most of the rest of the time was spent playing video games and watching the television. Until Bakura decided it was bed time.  
  
I put my laptop up on my bed (high sleeper - I'm like a cat, I prefer to be UP, and currently, another part of my body is agreeing with me), and joined him. We played around for a while. You know, THAT stuff. I let him uh... "suck me off" (I'm a bit uncomfortable when it comes to talking about my sex life, even if it IS where nobody else can read it), then toyed around, then deliberately left him very horny and unsatisfied and went to my own bed. Which is where I am now. Typing this entry.  
  
Bakura is NOT happy. I'll go back and join him in a moment, but he doesn't know that. I'm just torturing him. He's flinging things at me. Like loose staples and screwed up balls of paper.   
  
"Ryou! Get your ass back down here, damn it! And I ESPECIALLY mean the 'ass' bit!"  
  
"Ooh, I dunno, Bakura... I just don't feel like I'm up for that tonight. I'd like to wake up WITHOUT being seriously sore for once..."  
  
Can the hint possibly get any more obvious?  
  
Bakura obviously got the hint there, because he's grumbling. "Come on, Ryou," he complains. "It's never been a problem before."  
  
"I think I'll just stay here, Bakura, unless..."  
  
More growling. I'm finding it very difficult to keep from laughing. I know he'll agree eventually. It's not like I'm going to be the only one having fun. Besides, it's something new. He's ALWAYS been seme, and too much repetitiveness bugs him.  
  
"Well... I suppose. I HAVE wondered what it would be like the other way around..."  
  
See? I told you he'd agree. That was just faster than I thought.  
  
Hah, I'll carry on tomorrow.  
  
Probably late morning or early afternoon. I'm going to milk this for all it's worth, and Bakura would probably want to get his own back, in the shower, so that'd probably take about two hours because of his enormous sexual appetite...   
  
Off I go.  
  
~Ryou Bakura  
  
THE END 


End file.
